It’s back to school time, and soon your kid will be sharing the “who did what over summer” comparisons. A lot of this will be fun, informative conversation, and some of it will be filled with comparison and disappointment. Because we know that the majority of eating issues develop in the teenage or college years, it’s also a time where those more vulnerable may fall victim to food and body image issues.
People generally notice when others lose and gain weight. Because there is so much social referencing that occurs in the adolescent/teenage/early adult years, this generation is astute to these changes. Particularly after a break (i.e. a few months of summer vacation) where changes are more noticeable, the comparisons can start. You may hear you child say, “oh my gosh….did you see so and so” or “I can’t believe how so and so.” These are cues that you should pay attention to, and opportunities to understand how they are processing such comparisons.
In our culture (and driven by the media), thinness equates to being more attractive and popular. For someone who is unclear on what their social status is, they may go to food or their body to gain attention or cope with their feelings. It gives them the illusion of control over their appearance, and a sense of purpose. The dieting behaviors may start up, or become worsened by these interactions. Some emotionally eat for comfort. Others alleviate stress through bingeing and purging. Regardless of the “type” of behavior, without adequate support, these behaviors can cause more stress on the individual and worsen over time.
So, what to do? Best case scenario is that you build as much confidence in your child so that when these comparisons arise, they are resilient against trying to change themselves to gain social acceptance. Developing an ongoing dialogue about how to cope with peer pressures and disengage from negative talk about other people’s appearances. If you notice that your kid is starting to struggle, arm yourself with education and resources in effort to help it from spiraling out of control. If your child is at college, those campuses should offer counseling services (often, for free!) as well as have organizations devoted to food and body image issues.
